Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
