capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
