do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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