So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
