Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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