I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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