put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
