thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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