so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
