He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
