i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
