No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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