D3 body, D1 cock
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
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