id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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