No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
