I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Randomize
