I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
He better not be in your backpack
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
