the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
