Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
