You were right. It hurts to walk today.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
