Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
he fucked my hip out of place.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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