Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Randomize
