You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
the condom got lost in my hair
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
