He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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