Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Randomize
