no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
