i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
