She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
