If i come over, it means nothing
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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