Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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