Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
