Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
