drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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