You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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