My nipple is on Facebook.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
