If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
