sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
