My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
