forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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