You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she told me i tasted like america
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
