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I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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