I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
