did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
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