I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Randomize