It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
He passed out mid-signature
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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