this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
