There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
This toilet bowl is my home.
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