Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
