I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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