i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
