I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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