Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
