Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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