I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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