I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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