Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
