found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
