I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
