Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
