wake up i wanna do it froggy style
one might say we're banned from that church
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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